Jeremy's Story

For a long time, I wasn’t sure what my story was. I grew up in a Christian family and I received Christ when I was fourteen years old. There was no dramatic conversion experience accompanied by immediate life change like I would hear about. As I grew older and started driving on my own, I had completely fallen away from the church and God. Years of working in a business that primarily had me surrounded by alcohol, drugs, and an array of other activities, started to turn my life in downward direction. I struggled with maintaining relationships, my family, my girlfriend, and even close friends. Alcohol was my vital escape, consistently drinking, and eventually becoming alcohol dependent.In June of 2021 my mother was in the ICU with breathing complications; after being a patient, survivor and long-time warrior of Acute Leukemia since 2004. I went to visit her in the hospital and one of the doctors pulled me aside, concerned because I had severe jaundice. I went home and the next day decided to check myself in. After a lengthy and life-threatening detox, my doctor told me I had cirrhosis of the liver and I was going to be staying in the hospital. A few days later my mother decided to have her breathing machine removed and the remainder of her life was to be in God’s hands. She died a day later. I was devastated. On the outside, I looked normal. But on the inside, I struggled. I felt safest when I was in control of my life, learning to regulate what emotions I allowed others to see. Internally, I used alcohol to insulate myself from feeling pain. This time I needed a change, permanent change, spiritual change. I needed God. I prayed. I was told about a faith-based recovery program, The Fix, that my mom had met a few years prior and had wanted me to go to. “Alright, it’s your turn God.” This was the beginning of new journey a new path, one less followed. I used to be very self-efficient and self-reliant. Then I learned about how to put God on the “throne” of my life, letting Him sit in the chair and be in charge, not me. The depth of love that God has for us, to forgive us and send His own Son to die for us – that is incredible. It felt good to know that even though I falter and fail, God is always there to fall on. That’s a lot to grasp. But as my trust in God grows, I experience more joy and less fear. I know that I’m loved and safe with Jesus. I still struggle, but now, I’m honest about it with God. He’s proven that He can handle me at my worst. He wants to hear what’s going on inside of me, even if it’s ugly. 

2 Timothy 1:7,  “for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”